it’s raining today, the falling water mixed with the summer’s heat feels so strange, like the weather’s just as confused as the rest of us.
autumn is making it’s way in with new company; change. reminding me that it’s time to move on. it’s time to forgive and forget the past. it’s time to take a step forward into my future and finally live my life without you and be ok with it. it’s time for you to set me free and let me live my life for me now. i’ve been fighting myself for 5 years and it brings me to tears but you just don’t make me feel like you used to, i’m not your muse anymore and i’m sick and tired of fooling myself into thinking you’re the one. this isn’t my ego talking, this isn’t my pride running loose; this is humility, this is letting you go. you leaving in 11 days has made a huge impact on my decision. i’m constantly falling for you and you’re constantly leaving. it’s not fair for me. i won’t go through this again, i won’t give you another 5 years. not again. you’re leaving and i’m staying here. simple as that. simple as it always was.
i’m not giving up, my heart beats for love and my heart will continue to beat without you. yeah it may take a hundred years but i won’t settle for anything less than what it’s like in the movies. i’m sorry first love but we can still be friends…i will always love you and no one could ever take your place.
so this part of my life is called ‘split in two’. i know what i need to do on both situations but i’m still torn :(