You're everything I ask for, everything I ask for, and so much more.

So I'm really not feeling this chasing and chasing. HAHA! It kinda sucks sometimes! I wish I wasn't so damn giddy and shy around you, maybe then you'd be able to see the old me again. It sucks to know that I like you now, because we had such a good friendship. I mean what do you do after you realize you actually like a friend of yours? I don't even know where to even start! I wanna say I should just be chill and be myself and just go with the flow, but it's hard to go with the flow when I keep thinking about that kiss. It caught me so off guard the way you were all over me! You were wasted and I was buzzed and wide awake! I thought you'd do anything for a lay then..but I admit I was a bit scared, but at the same time I really did like it. And I really do like you. I just don't know how to tell you, or even act around you now for that matter. And I feel like I'm the only one in the room that feels the tension in the air. So I'm the only one sitting there acting really fucking awkward. Our conversations use to be so free and open and off limits, I miss that. I just keep telling myself that I'll do that the next time I see you, but when I do see you, it's like nothing comes out. I'll fight in my mind back in forth and just tell myself to just say something, anything. And I figure you don't talk to me cos I'm not talking to you, so then I just avoid you at all cost. I tell myself 'just act like you don't give a shit'. I have a feeling that if I keep this up I might as well dig my grave now and fall in it, because sooner or later this whole situation will be so irrelevant and you'll more then likely move on. It's so fucking annoying. It's also annoying that you don't have a cellphone, and I can't even call you or text you. I can't even ask to hang out. So I wake up every morning wondering if I'll even see you at all. But when I do see you, even if I can't talk to you, it's incredible. Just being around you is enough...for now. You make me feel so fucking alive and I haven't felt that way in a really long time. You make me want to be a better me. I just wish I could tell you this. I wish I can tell everyone this, that I like you. That's all. I hope you think of me the way I think of you, because I really can't take not seeing you everyday. And I really wish you would just make another move. I mean you've done it before, so really, what's once more?