Frozen in a moment, just close your eyes. Life was all a dream so put me to sleep.

i went to bed early last night and it was freaky to see the time when i woke up. it was 1PM. so lame. anyways dad and i went to joannes to look at sewing machines. i found one that i liked so i may be getting it soon! woop! after we went to home depot to look at wood. i've decided that i want to make all the furniture that is gonna go in my apartment. i've got a really good idea on what i want everything to look like, so it's gonna be great fun! lol we bought a baby ficus tree too. i was litterally jumping around and hugging the shit out of that plant. i've been wanting one for so long for some reason and now i've finally gotten one! i've decided i'm gonna name him oli's land. and unless your danielle you will never know why we named him that! ha loser!
anyways i'm pretty sure i'm not numb anymore. i've gotten a whole new perspective on things now. alls i gotta do is act on it. i'm pretty excited about everything. with school, work, life. it's all gonna fall in to place i just know :) nothing can bring me down now. i've just got this focus on what i want in life and this new drive. it feels amazing. and it's amazing just to even feel amazing! i mean usually i feel nothing and everything all at the same time. something that's so hard to describe, but now i'm just feeling everything. mostly positive stuff but i'm feeling none the less. this may sound weird to you, but everything is just making soooo much fucking sense it's great. i get it. you don't have to. ask and you shall receive. that's what i've done. i know what i need to do now and nothing is gonna get in my way. all the trivial things i've wanted in the past. that's gone now. i don't need it anymore. i've just realized that i was bored and had nothing to do, so of course i was always gonna go back to it. but i'm done with thinking that way now. i'm really moving on and it's almost fucking euphoric. i can't wait for what's in store for me and my family and friends. i'm not tired anymore. i have so much lust for life. don't stop me. just get outta my way dude because i've been dead for way to long now He's bringing me back to life :) nothing is impossible and there's is literally nothing i can't do. if i want something. i go for it. i'm not gonna sit back and think about the what if's anymore. my whole life isn't gonna pass me by anymore. everything is in my control. shit i have so much passion for life now, i'm just gonna let it all out, and you can watch :) it's my turn now. not on a low, i'm on a higggggh.