I'm trying..

I'm slowly coming to the realization that my life will never ever be PERFECT! i will probably never have that "one" moment in my life where I'm like "damn, this is really living." i know it may seem that I'm being completely pessimistic. but that's just the way you look at it. the way i see it is beautiful. i mean i'd rather live my life in chaos then be completely bored and organized all the time. when I'm down i feel. when I'm happy i feel. either way i feel. i know it sounds confusing, but it's making sense to me in my head. i keep telling myself "enjoy this" no matter how small the situation is. even if it's horrible and i feel depressed and shit. because some how i'm gonna end up missing it. and it turns out that every situation i'm in, that seems shitty at the time, i end up missing. that's because my life is chaos. it's in and out and backwards and forwards all at the same time, and i absolutely love it. :)