The world wants change. so do i. the world needs to change, but so do I; and together we cry.

..and I still believe that there is more Love than hate. there's more Heart than ache. and we are stuck in this great big world together. and I still believe that there is a lot at stake. and there's no time to wait, we can change the world if we try. we're gonna change it forever.

the cayotes are out. i'm at home watching law&order. danny and i were fixen to go to portland and listen to the maine. but we decided what the heck let's stay in lol.

i'm chasing cars around my head tonight. i'm infatuated with a boy. i'm like a dog chasing a car. i'll never catch it and i wouldn't know what to do with it if i did. story of my life right now. ha.

seriously i'm ready and super psyched for tomorrow night. it's almost here. well there almost here ha. i'm selling merch for before their eyes. it's gonna be so legit. it'll be my first time seeing the boys live. and it'll be my third time watching silverstein live. well technically my second because the last time i kinda got distracted. haha. but we don't talk about that! hopefully i'm on my best behavior this time around. ha. i'm sure i will be :/

today was chill but went soooooo slow. i missed house which is not okay.

the past two nights have been pretty interesting. haha

almost got in a fight with this one girl that has held a grudge against me since like 7th grade. that's attractive and healthy. and let's just say last night ended with cops. i won't say nothing more. lol just use your imagination and go wild.

man. i really wanna see the maine live and see the boys again. lol sitting here listening to them is sucha tease. so dumb. but of course tickets are sold out for portland and seattle. super lame. my eyes burn. wahh, wahh, wahh.

It's not quite the same as when i do it. It's who i'd like to be though. But hey, i'm on my way.

Sucha silent slumber tonight, tonight, tonight. And I can’t even imagine what hell you’re going through. I’m trying to find a way that I could help you. There is nothing but time and faith that you’ll pull through. And all along you’ll know that you helped you.

Push it all out because you know it’s coming. And you know what you’re gonna do about it.

Dear book,

:D
"This is another day in my life. life is like a book. A book is like a box. A box has six sides. Inside and outside, so, how do you get to what's inside? How do you get what's inside, out? life is confusing. we go through many obstacles and tasks, physical and emotional. nothing is easy. if life was always easy, we would be bored. we are thrown these curve balls in life to keep the mind going.. nothing is ever going to be perfect.. you just have to accept what you have and work with it. you can't change who you are, but you can improve.. the first step in living a happy life is just accepting that this is you.. and loving yourself.. once you are able to do that it won't matter the bullshit people say to you to bring you down or what people do out of jealousy to hurt you. you will know you are above that, and the people who matter in your life know the real you and that is all that matters. stay true to yourself. don't let ANYONE try to bring you down or make you feel like you aren't good enough....."

"you're a super rainbow of creativity!"

"God let me have as much swagger as possible and let me be as gangster as possible. i love you.

holla."

Woo

i'm getting my freakin lip tattood..
it's gonna be a little itty bitty heart in the corner.
it's gonna hurt, dang. and it's gonna cost me money i don't have :/
dang again.
awwww shhhoooot.

Sometimes i'm at a loss for words and sometimes i won't shut the heck up :D
just got back from having lunch with my mom and cousin. we went to this really good chinese restaurant. it gave me an upset stomach though. why is it that the good things are always bad for you :\ yahh so my freakin tooth hurts. so bad. it's pretty lame.
i got some applications today from the mall. i'm applying at vans. i really hope i get the job. i really would not mind working there. ha. met up with my buddy mike at footlocker and saw jordan i felt bad because i had to leave right away. we may kick it tonight, maybe. if he texts me idk. yahh danny is spending the night tonight. were gonna probably drive around for a while and come back home get on the computer then watch a movie. lol were tight.
i really wanna see 17again. lol i've grown very fond of zac efron. ha. dang. anyways my tooth really hurts, now it's just pissing me off >:[
BRUTE

I'm so full.

i'm finally back where i belong. :D super psyched! well today i'm just staying home tonight. i was suppose to hang out with the bf but she's in the process of moving. i live all the way out in bg so that's a long drive. oh well i enjoy nights in. plus house is my favorite show right now. lol i need to buy the series. i can watch this show all day.
i need to get a job though. i'm thinking about getting a job at vans or charlotte russe. two totally different stores. ha. so i'm gonna try and do all that tomorrow, along with paying my phone bill.
i just got done eating burgerville which i haven't had in over 6 months and it was awesome! i ate crap all day though so i need to start eating healthy or i'm gonna be so unhappy with myself pretty soon. i just sneezed and i'm so tired.

Life is just.

If i could tell life one thing..it would be to fuck off... idk why latley life HAS not been going my way. i'm not trying to sound completly emo here, but c'mon seriously. i mean i'll admit when it comes down to facing life, i get nervous, and run away as far as possible. and that is one of the many things i need to fix about myself. it's just right now i have way to much freakin time on my hands that i'm starting to tear myself apart!! i'm starting to run out of excuses for certain people in my life, and i'm running out of excuses for my self. idk, honestly i have no point in this. i guess i'm just trying to figure some stuff out. when i have an epipheny i'll let myself know.

I'm right here in front of you and I can't stop sh-sh-shaking I can't stop sh-sh-shaking. come on and hold me still.

Did my heart love until now cause I feel as though I've never seen beauty till this night. I'm forever, yeah, I'm forever yours.i've come to the conclusion that i really want to be in love. i've always told my loved ones and friends that i don't want children, because i've never been to fond of kids. that it just ties me down. i always hated babysitting. i remember telling my mom and dad, "don't expect grandchildren from me, EVER!!" like seriously who says that? well apparently me....i wonder what they thought. i mean every parent wants grandchildren, right? but then i got to thinking some more after i told them this and i realized that i never want to get married. i mean why settle down right? and for the longest time i went about my life not wanting children and never wanting to get married. i've only been in love once. i think it's an amazing feeling. if it's with the right guy. but i don't know, lately i've taken a complete 180 and have been wanting to have children someday and wanting to marry the man of my dreams. i dont know what turned it around for me. but i mean i'm only 19 years old. i'm turning 20 in five months and although i may be young i think that it doesn't matter how old you are. you can still fall in love. i mean it's the greatest thing God has given us. love. i mean i think it's wonderful how these couples that have been together for over 50 years still wake up and smile at each other and still give each other butterflies. i think it's beautiful and that's what love is. being able to keep the fire alive no matter how old you are. i don't know if this is making sense to you but it's just been things i've been thinking about a lot lately :)
idk just some thought.....

I like sense of humors. someone who won’t laugh at me when i dance like a doofus. and won’t think all the music i listen to is weird, even though it is. someone i can be totally uninhibited around. i basically need someone i can be loud and obnoxious with. i may have found him.

Landon.

Peace.

Messy girl.

Selling Merch for BTE, March 30th!! Come out and watch them throw down :)

If i had to describe myself in one word:
A girl should be two things: Classy and Fabulous.
I define nothing. Not beauty, not patriotism. I take each thing as it is, without prior rules about what it should be.

F A S H I O N + P H O T O G R A P H Y = PURE FILTH .
"Don't spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door.In order to be irreplaceable, you have to be different. Go against the grain and follow your own dreams not everyone elses."

F A V O R I T E P L A C E S <3


"I do not like being told things just to make me happy. I would rather be told the truth and be hurt than be "protected" and gratified. I overreact sometimes. Don't be afraid to tell me I'm wrong or out of line. I like people who are strong enough to face me when I'm raging ... people who will let me be angry for a little while ... people who won't think less of me for my somewhat sporadic mood swings. When I'm hurt, I withdraw. I threaten to run away from the situation that is causing me pain. All I want is to be told honestly that I'm loved ... that I should stay ... sometimes I need to hear it multiple times. But if you'll be a little persistent, I'll give in. If I really love you, I might start picking fights over stupid things ... for no reason. It means I'm bored. That things have gotten monotonous. I love just going with the flow ... I don't always want things planned out. I'm indecisive -- there are too many things I would really like to do ... and I'm afraid you won't like what I choose."
Go lightly from the ledge, babe, Go lightly on the ground.
Love itself is what is left over; when being in love has burned away.

^and this is me on a good day^