Now floating up and down.

I spin, colliding into sound like whales beneath me diving down. I'm sinking to the bottom of my everything that freaks me out. The lighthouse beam has just run out. I'm cold as cold as cold can be. Be.

I want to swim away but don't know how. Sometimes it feels just like I'm falling in the ocean. Let the waves take me down. Let the hurricane set in motion, yeah. Let the rain of what I feel right now come down. Let the rain come down.

Really disappointed. I haven't been this upset about something in a very long time, it just seriously makes me sick to my stomach. I will never forget this night. I feel like I'm gunna look back on my life and say that this was the exact night where my whole mindset changed. Words don't mean shit to me anymore, even mine now. I have nothing to say or to prove to anyone anymore. Your sorrys dont mean shit to me but keep talking cos I think it's funny. Actions, now that's what counts for me now. And I won't stop. I'm not gunna give up. This night has given me the strength to get my life in check. I don't ever want to be embarrassed like that ever again. I don't ever want to have to run up to a crying girl, while her baby brother is lying on the floor because everyone thinks he got shot. And to think that I was with the morons carrying the gun. I have never been more affected in my life. I have never in my life seen such filth. Scum. People I hung around with, got drunk with, had each other's backs, got on emotional levels with, made memories with are the ones always starting drama, fighting other people for no reason, disrespecting complete strangers, acting like children..these are the people I never want to associate myself with anymore. I can't even stand to be in the same room as them anymore. The disgusting things I saw tonight, I just never would have thought they would be the ones doing it. It was sick to look at. You don't terrorize people for no reason. You don't go up to innocent people and pull out a gun, telling them to drop there alcohol and jack their shit. You don't pistol whip someone in the face, knocking them out and leaving his older sister hysterical. You just don't do that. I don't care if you're "blood". You're not so shut the fuck up with it. You're a fucking dipshit and you make me sick. I will never have your backs, ever again.

p.s. can't trust no one in this shit town.