At The Photo Shoot.

They call her love. LOVE. love. LOVE. love.

Current Mood: Cooky/Wacky
Catagory: Romance and Relationships

Love is a funny thing. You expect it to be easy. You expect it to be a world of roses and laughs and perfect moments that you only find in movies. You expect them to always say the right thing, and to always know exactly how you feel, or exactly how to react to it. You expect them to calm you down when you're yelling or chase you when you run away. You expect so much that you feel entirely, and utterly defeated when something doesn't exactly match up with all your plans. But that's the thing. Love isn't a plan. It doesn't have a certain beginning and it certainly has no end or visible finish line to those deeply in it.

Love happens; it is so incredibly messy. People around you can't comprehend why you do the things you do, or why you fight so hard for something that seems to cause you so much pain, because simply, they can't see. They can't see the invisible ring of insanity that surrounds you when you're in love. It's inconvenient, painful and devastating at times, but we can't live without it. What you don't learn is how hard love is. How much of ourselves we have to put into it. How it isn't worth it until we are complete and utter idiots about it.

Love isn't them calming you down when you yell. It's them yelling, just as loud, just as hard, right back at you, right in your face to wake you up and to keep you grounded. It isn't her/him bringing you roses everyday or cute things that make your relationship appear more presentable.

It's right after a fight, that drains the life and bones right out of both of you, and yet her or him showing up at your door the next morning anyway. It's not them saying all the right things or knowing exactly how to handle you. So no, it's not them caressing your hair and telling you everything is going to be okay. It's them standing there, admitting they're just as scared as you are. You have to remember that with love, you're not the only one involved. You've unknowingly put your life, your heart into the palms of another persons hands and said, here. Do what you will. Mash it into a million peices. mash it into meat. Or forget I ever handed it to you in the first place. As long as you have it.

It makes reality invisible and it erases all the lines that we shouldn't cross. Because love isn't about fencing ourselves in; feeling safe, feeling sure about the future. It's about scaring the shit out of every nerve in our body, but pushing forward anyway. Because all the fighting and all the tears and all the uncertainty is worth it. And it's a hell of a lot better, than being 100% happy without someone to show us that there is a world of a difference between feeling 'happy' and feeling whole.

Currently Listening To: An Honest Mistake by The Bravery

Eyoo! Let Me HOLLER at you!!

Current mood: Pretty!
Last Updated: Saturday, November 01, 2008

P.S. If your not on here, sorry, i'll update it soon...

Hero:
My Daddy, Aaron Juarez

He's the reason why i'm strong. No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I'm always coming back home to you. They can leave me for dead they can take away my true, I'm always coming back home to you. Through the lies and the sins that ride the wind that blew, I'm always coming back home to you. As sure as the life in the garden that you grew, I'm always coming back home to you. No matter where I am, no matter what I do, I'm always coming back home to you. If only I had known what you already knew, I'm always coming back home to you. From the heaven I've had to the hell Ive been through, I'm always coming back home to you
i love you daddy c:

Zena, idk where to even begin with you. your my best friend, and the sister i never had. i cant even begin to describe how much you have been there for me. we have been through thick and thin for half our lives. and its been the best!! and sometimes the worst but i wouldnt trade it for the world c: i love you with everything in me, because were family, and its always gonna be that way. i know we dont always agree. and we dont talk as much as we should :( but i love you always.
bffs forever babe!

Danielle, sooo..i think your dumb. and your a dirty skank and i hate you! lol you know im just kidding. kinda. well so i love how when we first met i wanted to literally shoot you in the fucking face! because i didnt like you. but now that i know you A LOT better..i still would love to shoot you in the fucking face..because i still hate you BITCH! lol no but really tho i dont think i know any body else on this earth that knows me the way you do. you feel me. and thats whats up. your the only person i can stand to be around for more then five days without getting bored or annoyed. thats LOVE. haha. IT MAKES ME SICK! lol JK! OH btw: i want my pink shirt back! [[[ha ha no but really. this past few years have been up and down with us. and i'm glad, right now, its going up.if you feel me. lol this past year especially has been hell for me, you know what i mean, and you have helped me through all that bullshit. i love you! and now its my turn to help you in return. i know you will get through it babe.]]]

btw.i hate this picture!! lol Jesse, so i love when im thinking about you or just got done prayin for you, you always seem to text me right after. haha! but jesse really though, you and blair are like my older brothers and i care for you both very much.(even tho i never quite understood why you had to do this.) just know that im always supporting you, and always prayin and believing in you. and i know you'll make it home, because your headstrong! and im glad we had our little adventure together to battleground before you left! it ment a lot to me! and you dont owe me taco bell anymore. so your off the hook. lol i miss&love you babe! keep your head up!! and keep shootin! lol[[[[i'm sorry i moved to cali right before you came home!!! that was incredibly lame of me!!! i wish we could hang out again, and head to battle ground at twelve o clock at night and get kicked out of bg lake from that officer. ha ha what an asshole!! miss you!!]]]]

Blair, haha where to fucking begin? so i love you! and your a crazy little bitch! lol damn it we've had so many good times together! and i know that i skimped out on you and greg a lot in the past and im sorry but were tight so youll get over it!! lol and thanks for not putting your dick in my mouth while i was sleeping, haha! [[[[[thanks for calling me and coming to my going away party at dannys. lol it felt like old times. kinda. and last i heard, you said you were going through some shit. and i'm still waiting for you to call me so we can talk. i'm here for you bro. love and miss you!!]]]]]
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How come they call it goodbye?

How come the good die?

Tony Richardson, I know you're gone, I know i'll see you again. One thing that I can promise, that we gonna meet up again. Hopefully up in heaven, prayin' that i'm forgiven. For everything that i've done, and everything I forgot to mention. Even though somebody took the time to warn me. That you just cant be with me 'til the end it's just crazy. And everyday i'm wishin' you could come save me. And I know i ain't supposed to cry. It's taken all the strength in my soul to say goodbye. I never knew I could hurt like this. And everyday life goes on. like, i wish I could talk to you for awhile. I wish I could find a way try not to cry. As time goes by. And soon as you reach a better place. Still I'll give the whole world to see your face. And I'm right here next to you. It feels like your gone too soon. The hardest thing to do is say bye, bye.


Currently Listening To: Can't Stop, Wont Stop by The Maine